THE SUBWAY INHABITANTS/ LOS HABITANTES DEL METRO

ESPAÑOL ABAJO, FIRST ENGLISH

As I had received some constructive criticism from my supporters I have decided to write in both Spanish and English, I think I can do it.

After my 6 years analysis about people who use public transportation I´m able to talk about different kinds of people that you can find in the tube/subway/metro, last weeks going to my new temporary job in Sant Just (close to Barcelona) I conclude I have to tell the world about my discovery. Those are some of them, but I´m sure there are more and more, and some day I will write about all them in "The subway inhabitants II" :P

I have met:
1- The students, always talking, smiling, some times listening music, even singing in the morning, they are completely happy.

2- Employees, usually they take with them a weird backpack just for the tupperware, and the most common aspect: they don´t speak, don´t smile, no music.... maybe they have a book on her hands, a best seller, or some times they read the free newspaper like Metro.

3- Crazy people, I have seen a lot of them, in USA, in London, in Sweden.... and in Spain of course, the most spectacular was a few weeks ago, a girl, young girl who was sitting in front of me, she was like Gothic, you know what I mean, white skin and dark clothes and dark make-up, I wasn´t looking at her until it happened, she shouted the girls sit on my left saying: "you son of a bitch I´m going to kill you", with a fear movie face .... I was terrified, after that she stand up walk 3 meters and sit down again, I thought she knew each other and was a problem between them, but after 2 quite minutes the same story, then I realized she was completely crazy and people from the other part of the train start to run away from her. That´s not the best way to start the week. Damn.

4- Thiefs, here in Barcelona are pickpockets, they never go alone, usually in pairs, use different methods to achieve their goals, even stop the mechanical stairs, try to push you like if it was an accident, ask you something... you recognize them because of their flowerpower shirts and because they never seems tourists despite they use maps.

5- Policemen, is the most difficult specie to recognize, they are like tourists, like students, or even like thieves, you just recognize them when they arrest somebody.

6- Tourists, they are unmistakable, that poker face saying I understand nothing, where am I? it will be the next stop??, use maps, caps, big backpacks, flip flaps with white shocks to just above under their knees. They are awesome. I usually call them Duck mum, because when they get off the train they have behind them all the small ducks, thieves and behind them the policemen. Is funny.

7-Politicians, hahahahaha, you never met one of them in public transportation, NEVER, they say we have to use but... I´m lying, I saw one time one of them, in Valencia, the reason: They inaugurate the subway and was full of journalists, of course.


ESPAÑOL AQUI, INGLÉS ARRIBA

Pues eso que como hay gente que no pilota mi inglés, igual el bueno sí, aquí suelto lo mismo pero en español:

Decía que tras muchos años de investigación cogiendo metros ya soy capaz de identificar las distintas clases de individuos que habitan el metro, no todos, eso lo dejo para una segunda parte del post en un futuro. Ahora los que he identificado hasta la fecha:

1- Estudiantes, son los más felices, ya de buena mañana van hablando, oyendo música, incluso cantando, llevan esa cara de felicidad....

2- Los currantes, pues esos cara de felicidad como que no, menudas caras de perro llevan algunos, no son capaces de hablar, ni de escuchar la radio, a lo sumo leen un best seller o el periódico gratuito que les han regalado a la entrada.

3- Los locos, de estos los hay en todas las ciudades del mundo mundial, si alguien hubiera patentado esta especie se hubiera forrado, el último incidente un lunes, bonita forma de empezar la semana: una tía aparentemente normal, salvo por el aspecto gótico, sentada en frente mía, de repente empieza a gritar con cara de poseída "hijas de puta os voy a matar" se levanta, anda 3 metros y se sienta como si nada, dos minutos después se repite la historia, la gente del final del vagón empieza a cambiar rápido de zona pq se les aproxima. Afortunadamente llega mi parada y ella no baja.

4- Los carteristas, que majos ellos, son capaces de hacer lo q sea para conseguir su premio, paran la escalera mecánica, te depositan un mapa sobre tu mochila para distraerte, te empujan accidentalmente...

5- Los policías, tb existen y son jodidamente jodidos de identificar, se pueden hacer pasar por turistas, cacos o estudiantes, solo identificables cuando trincan al ladrón.

6- Los turistas, ellos inconfundibles, con su cara de turista, con su gorra, su mapa y por supuesto sus chanclas y calcetines blancos hasta la rodilla, tb llamados como mamá-pato pq lleva a todos los patitos detrás, a los cacos primero y a los polis después.

7- Los políticos, juasjuasjuas, estos NUNCA NUNCA pisan el metro, y mira que insisten en que lo cojamos; miento, un día si vi un político en el metro, en Valencia, inauguraban una línea de metro y claro estaba lleno de periodistas.... cómo no.